the gift to just chill out
Before I delve into this blog post with my infinite wisdom on 'chilling out', I'd like to give credit to my dear, sweet, lovely friend Christina Erl for coming up with this blog title! So, thank you.
How did this topic come about? It happened during a long, much needed FaceTime with Christina. We caught up on life and all its stresses - the ups, the downs, work and everything in between. We talked about taking it easy and allowing ourselves to take things in stride, cool off a bit, learning how to say no and in general, learning how to just chill out and well, just calm the fuck down. You know that children's book called "Go the F*** to Sleep?". Well, this could be a book titled "Just Go and Chill the Fuck Out".
She said to me "you will likely never have this opportunity again to figure out what you want to do AND have the luxury to really take the time to do so. Just give yourself the gift to chill out". It was like the clouds lifted and I had another ah-ha moment. Just give yourself the gift to Chill. Out.
Yes, why don't I just chill the fuck out? Give myself the gift to just sit back, enjoy this time and really figure out what the next step in my life will be. I know I'm not fit to be just a Suzie Homemaker or a stay at home mom (when that happens) and there is a side of me that isn't sure if I even want to return to work full time, in an office-setting capacity. I'm fortunate enough to be in this position right now because I not only have a supportive partner who is, well, supporting me to take this time off, but I also don't have the financial stress weighing me down like I did when I was living on my own. Responsible for ALL the bills and maintaining my lifestyle. There's something very nice and zen about stepping back (yet, equally hard on my ego and you don't have to be a man to have these feelings).
The future is full of possibilities at this point in my life, and I just have to be ok with taking the time I need to figure out what that is. Not worrying about how long it's been since I moved here and pressuring myself into something I'm not ready for. Yet. My A Type Personality takes over, I create more lists in Evernote than you can imagine (its my achilles heel!) but it gives me a sense of purpose.
I start to wonder what my value and contribution is and will be in the years to come. I do scare myself with these questions (almost a little each day if I'm being honest with myself). A LOT.
But after having a conversation with another great friend, she revisited the notion of hiring a career coach. I've never done this before but it dawned on me that this moment in my life is exactly when I need it the most. Not to mention, the ability to take advantage of this NOW and really get down to the nitty gritty on what my potential is.
I have my introductory coaching session tomorrow with his rock star career coach who came highly recommended. I've been excited for this since before we left on holidays. The geek inside of me is geeking out at what he has to say and where this will lead. Plus, I was quite intrigued by what he told me via email as we were scheduling this first meeting. He said "your blog reflects a calling that is quite moving to me."
This will be a good one. And don't worry, I'll be sure to follow up.