the rediscovery of self
What a loaded word.
A word that comes with a lot of thought, insight, questions, concerns, doubts, challenges yet power. For me anyway.
I knew moving up North and leaving my Vancouver life behind was going to give me a chance to rediscover myself, but I also knew it was going to come with a whole lotta 'out of my element', 'moments of reflection' and 'what the f*** am I doing here' moments. Whether I liked it or not, it was going to happen because I just cannot sit still and I'm one of those whose mind is always buzzing.
Four months in and I am seriously missing my work. My career. My identity. My day-to-day structure.
I miss the engagement with colleagues, the variety and challenge of tasks each day brought, doing my craft and the separation it gave me from my personal/home life. Don't get me wrong - I get the luxury of staying in bed with coffee most mornings if I choose, but like anything that comes to easily, it gets old and boring...fast.
Am I bored? Definitely.
Have I been kind of lazy? Sure.
Am I motivated? Indeed.
Am I prepared and ready for a change? YES
So I decided to invest in myself and my career (whatever that may be now - it still remains a mystery) because I've never had the opportunity to do so otherwise. It was always a lack of time, resources and mostly money that prevented me from doing this in the past, but now I am ready. I can feel a real shift happening - I just don't know what direction its taking me in. I do know that its a new one and I'm willing to embrace it with open arms (I know I sound like a hippity-dippity spiritual animal here, but just go with it).
I've enlisted the help of an amazing career coach. Someone who was highly recommended to me by a close friend and I've only just begun. The real work is NOW. The homework I've received is not just something I can check off my list of to-do items (dammit!). This requires real dedication, thought, time spent going into my memory bank to figure out what got me here, going out of my comfort zone and spending time on my own to think. After all, I'm delving into a lot of my past to figure out what this (work) future looks like.
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw
I'm using the term rediscovery because I really do feel like I'm rediscovering what makes me tick, what inspires me, and what direction I'm meant to take next, but I'm also trying to unfold what I don't know about myself - professionally speaking. I know most people who know me, they know I'm a marketer. Part entrepreneur. I've had a colourful and fruitful career, but I've also taken some hits and traveled rocky roads along the way. Nothing comes without pain, sacrifices and setbacks (and trust me, I've had A LOT of them). But I've persevered and what I've learned in my 39 years on this planet (15+ of which I have been working professionally) is there are very few things you can plan in life. You have to know that things happen for a reason - good or bad - but the end result is often worth the risk. I think my career path is proof of that. I went from a 9-5 job that I loved, going to an office every day to literally OVERNIGHT, sitting on the couch with Oprah Winfrey, publishing books, hosting my own TV show, and traveling the country doing media spots with some heavy hitters. It was a blast but it was also a risk because we gave up and risked everything to do so. Scary? YES. Worth it. YES. Do I regret it? NO.
I was the type who thought she had her life all planned out (typical 18 year old who thinks she knows it all!). Well, the joke was on me, but I truly believe I've ended up where I was meant to be and I know that this "rediscovery" I'm experiencing is throwing me for a loop, making me uncomfortable and making me doubt my abilities, my strengths and my experience. BUT, I have to believe that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. A bright one. Enlisting the guidance of a career coach will help me along this journey of mine and ultimately lead me to where I need to be. In this next phase of my life. Whatever that may be.
Let's see where I am in 6 months....but I hope.....I mean I KNOW it will be worth the ride.